Fifty Shades Darker
Fifty Shades Dafter.
Dakota Johnson
Watching
other people having sex is like watching other people eat. If you’re
full, it
can be a disgusting spectacle; if you’re hungry, it can induce a note
of envy. The
coupling displayed in Sam Taylor-Wood’s 2015 adaptation of E.L. James’s
publishing
phenomenon was the least interesting bit. But then Ms Taylor-Wood (or
Taylor-Johnson, as she calls herself now) is a better filmmaker than Ms
James
is a writer. The director James Foley, perhaps best known for the TV
series House of Cards, is handed a
bum assignment
here – and hopefully a decent pay cheque. The sequel has none of the
allure of
the first date, just more excuses to get Anastasia Steele (Dakota
Johnson) trussed
up. Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) turns up again in a predictably
ostentatious manifestation
when, at a photographic exhibition, he buys all the photographs of
Anastasia.
He wants back in, so to speak, and is willing to forego all the
sadomasochism.
He proposes they at least talk, albeit at a horrendously expensive
restaurant. “OK,
I’ll have dinner with you,” she concedes, “because I’m hungry.” She’s
actually hungry
for a lot more than caviar and oysters and so the film trots out the
usual picturesque
strolls through the Seattle streets, the odd pop accompaniment from
Corinne
Bailey Rae, Rita Ora and Sia, and various displays of Christian’s
fabulous
wealth and vanity.
Unfortunately,
the first threat of a narrative appears immediately before the closing
credits,
which in turn are interrupted by a trailer for Fifty
Shades Freed. So, Fifty
Shades Darker is just one big tease, a bridge between the
first film and
the next, which will also be directed by Foley. Regrettably, the new
film could
hardly be more dull, largely because it all so implausible. In essence
a glossy
commercial for obsession, possession, desire and ben wa balls, it
glides along
between the odd sequence of nooky and the next of risible dialogue,
while
barely breaking a sweat to introduce anything new (except for the ben
wa balls).
And
what people
speak like this? Anastasia, in the aisle of a supermarket: “When did
you last
go shopping?” Christian: “Houston. A week ago.” Anastasia: “What did
you buy?”
Christian: “An airline.” Worse, when they turn up at a masked ball,
they walk
in at the precise moment that the singer delivers the opening line to
the
Gershwins’ ‘They Can't Take That Away from Me’: "The way you wear your
hat...” Christian Grey would seem to be a master of perfect timing,
from the unleashing
of fireworks in the night sky, to the supernatural precision of his
designer
stubble, to the orchestration of Anastasia’s umpteenth orgasm. You
could not
get more artificial.
JAMES CAMERON-WILSON
Cast: Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Eric
Johnson, Eloise Mumford, Bella Heathcote, Rita Ora, Luke Grimes, Victor
Rasuk, Kim
Basinger, Marcia Gay Harden, Bruce Altman, Fay Masterson, Ashleigh
LaThrop.
Dir James Foley, Pro
Michael De Luca, E.L. James, Dana Brunetti and Marcus Viscidi, Screenplay Niall Leonard, Ph
John Schwartzman, Pro Des Nelson
Coates, Ed Richard Francis-Bruce, Music Danny Elfman, Costumes
Shay Cunliffe.
Michael De Luca Productions-Universal Pictures.
117 mins. USA. 2017. Rel: 10 February 2017. Cert.
18.