We’ll Never Have Paris




Simon Helberg’s directorial debut, although based on the actor’s own romantic experience, fails to ring true.


We'll Never Have Paris

French dressing: Simon Helberg and Melanie Lynskey


Fans of The Big Bang Theory, and in particular admirers of Simon Helberg’s socially awkward character Howard Wolowitz, may glean a modicum of pleasure from this romcom. Co-written and co-directed by Helberg himself (with his wife Jocelyn Towne), the film is based on the occasion when Simon, re-named Quinn here, screwed up his marriage proposal to his long-term girlfriend (Melanie Lynskey). Unfortunately, there is no credible shorthand or history between Helberg and Lynskey, and therefore no plausible foundation for the humour. And as Quinn, Helberg presents such a juvenile, half-witted and self-pitying fool, that the routine quickly becomes tiresome. Forecasting its eponymous sojourn, We’ll Never Have Paris also often has the feel of a film built around its soundtrack.




Cast: Simon Helberg, Melanie Lynskey, Zachary Quinto, Maggie Grace, Jason Ritter, Alfred Molina, Judith Light, Dana Ivey, Fritz Weaver.


Dir Simon Helberg and Jocelyn Towne, Pro Robert Ogden Barnum, Simon Helberg and Jocelyn Towne, Screenplay Simon Helberg, Ph Polly Morgan, Pro Des Alexandra Schaller, Ed Mollie Goldstein, Music Samuel Jones and Alexis Marsh, Costumes Rebecca Luke.


Bifrost Pictures/The Bridge Finance Company/E2B Capital/H3 Films/Marc Platt Productions/PalmStar Entertainment/K5 International/Dog Eared Pictures-Metrodome Distribution.

91 mins. USA. 2014. Rel: 9 October 2015. Cert. 15.