The Next 365 Days
The tiresome trilogy about fractured relationships reaches its inconclusive nadir.
The story so far... In 365 Days (365 dni), volume one of three Polish sex 'n' gangsters novels, the lovely Laura (Anna-Maria Sieklucka) and Massimo (Michele Morrone), the monstrous Mafia man, are together because he kidnapped her and kept her for a year (those very same 365 days) until she declared her love for him. She had tried to escape but nobody would help her with Sicilian gangster Massimo in tow. They both tormented each other by showing interest in others until Massimo shot her dancing partner. However, when Massimo saved Laura from drowning, she became smitten with the bad lad.
Despite a family feud straight out of Romeo and Juliet, the pregnant Laura reluctantly agrees to marry Massimo anyway but, after shopping for her trousseau, wouldn't you know, she gets involved in a car crash and part one of a very dismal story concludes with a loaded question 'Is she still alive?' Loaded, because she resurfaces in part two, 365 Days: This Day (365 Ngay: Hom Nay), a sequel comprising multiple bonking sequences because Laura, pulled from the wrecked car, does marry Massimo but still feels unfulfilled. Hubby sets her up with a clothing company but life goes awry when Laura catches Massimo at it in the arms of another woman. The plot thickens when Nacho (Simone Susinna), Massimo’s gardener, bowls up and immediately falls in love with Laura. Then everything goes haywire with a Mafia plot in which Laura gets shot. Can she survive yet again? All is revealed in part three of the trilogy.
So, in The Next 365 Days, Laura is conveniently resurrected for the finale and, in between interminably boring love-making sessions with Nacho, Laura carries on working, designing clothes to take her mind off her marriage and possible divorce. Still, Massimo declares undying love and is prepared to wait for Laura's answer. But, are we prepared to wait? With all three novels now committed to film, we need not worry, unless... Have pity for the poor actors if they are required to put themselves and their bodies through all this rubbish again.
Original title: Kolejne 365 dni.
MICHAEL DARVELL
Cast: Anna-Maria Sieklucka, Michele Morrone, Simone Susinna, Magdalena Lamparska, Otar Saralidze, Ewa Kasprzyk, Dariusz Jakubowski, Karolina Pisarek, Tomasz Mandes, Ramón Langa.
Dir Barbara Bialowas, Pro Maciej Kawulski, Ewa Lewandowska and Tomasz Mandes, Screenplay Blanka Lipinska, Tomasz Mandes and Mojca Tirs, based on the novel Kolejne 365 dni by Blanka Lipinska, Ph Bartek Cierlica, Pro Des Joanna Bialousz, Ed Marcin Drewnowski, Music Dominik Buczkowski-Wojtaszek and Patryk Kumor, Costumes Pio Koncki.
Open Mind Production/Ekipa-Netflix.
112 mins. Poland. 2022. UK and US Rel: 19 August 2022. Cert. 18.