Expend4bles
The old men behaving badly are united for an impossible mission to stop World War III.
Fresh blood: Megan Fox, Andy Garcia and Jacob Scipio
Jason Statham has never proved averse to a sequel. So, following Meg 2: The Trench, he takes the reins of this outmoded hymn to masculinity in the year’s most anti-woke bloodfest. Fans of the original (and its sequels) may embrace the insane implausibility of it all but, as the world teeters on the brink of World War III, it still leaves a nasty taste in the mouth. Once again we have a posse of bruising pensioners with no respect for human life who occupy a parallel universe of Harley Davidsons, tattooed flesh and strip joints. The twist this time is that the gang is led into battle by a cosmetically flawless supermodel (Megan Fox) who, as the guys bare their teeth, bares her sixpack. It’s hardly a practical uniform, but then little makes sense in this meat-headed warzone.
The opening is bizarre in the extreme. As the beyond-evil, child-killing Rahmat (Iko Uwais, from The Raid) seizes a former chemical plant of Gaddafi's in order to appropriate some nuclear warheads, Jason Statham’s Lee Christmas and Sylvester Stallone’s Barney Ross kick off a brawl in a strip club just to seal their bromance. It’s a guy thing. Then, the next mission impossible is detailed by the toothpick-chewing CIA suit ‘Marsh’ (Andy Garcia), who instructs the boys to apprehend Rahmat and his mercenaries in Libya. But it doesn’t go well…
As advocates of mindless action-thrillers await the next instalment of Fast X (with Jason Statham), they can sate their appetite with The Dumb & The Deadly. Since the last Expendables, Lee Christmas has acquired a hot-tempered beauty of a girlfriend (Fox), Dolph Lundgren’s Gunner Jensen now has a Farrah Fawcett thatch and reading glasses, and Randy Couture’s Toll Road has a cauliflower ear (as the actor has in real life). But little has diminished the team’s lust for killing foreigners and blowing stuff up.
The non-stop action becomes pretty repetitive pretty soon as a seemingly ceaseless supply of nasty mercenaries turns up to be dispatched by Bowie knife and a variety of firearms. The one saving grace is the presence of Statham who seems to make the limpest gag palatable, just before he unleashes a torrent of arterial blood. It’s all so bananas that somehow it isn’t the worst film of the year, in spite of its unpleasantness and shoddy effects work. And while it is bound to aggrieve millions, its unrepentant audacity is no more offensive than the cinematic equivalent of a fast-food fix.
JAMES CAMERON-WILSON
Cast: Jason Statham, Sylvester Stallone, Curtis ‘50 Cent’ Jackson, Megan Fox, Dolph Lundgren, Tony Jaa, Iko Uwais, Andy García, Randy Couture, Jacob Scipio, Levy Tran, Lucy Newman Williams, Daren Nop.
Dir Scott Waugh, Pro Kevin King-Templeton, Les Weldon, Yariv Lerner and Jason Statham, Screenplay Kurt Wimmer, Tad Daggerhart and Max Adams, Ph Tim Maurice-Jones, Pro Des Ricky Eyres, Ed Michael J. Duthie, Music Guillaume Roussel, Costumes Neil McClean, Sound Ryan Nowak.
Millennium Media/Nu Boyana Studios/Templeton Media/Grobman Films/Media Capital Technologies-Lionsgate UK.
103 mins. USA. 2022. UK and US Rel: 22 September 2023. Cert. 15.
